confessions of an amateur

This morning, I had a great run, and I had a great runner’s high from that run. But now I’ve come down from that runner’s high and back into “reality”…

Truth is, it’s easy to post about what I’m doing and make it look all nice and pretty, but it’s NOT. Sometimes, in the evenings like this, when I get really mellow, I ask myself why I’m doing this! Good runs like today mean great runner’s highs, but they also inevitably mean being extra tired- understandable, since the good runs are always the ones where I really push myself to my limits. But dragging for the rest of the day, forcing myself to stay awake so that I don’t throw off my sleep schedule- that’s tough. Knowing that I’ll wake up and work hard, but even my hard work won’t even compare to people who are lifelong athletes- that’s tough. All that makes me really question why I’m doing this to myself. It makes me think about how easy it would be to just quit.

Don’t get me wrong. This is really just venting- I’m not seriously thinking about quitting. I’ve come too far for that. But it is a recognition that it’s NOT easy. Some days are good, but some days are not, and most days are somewhere in between. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and I’ll do SOMETHING- probably a lighter workout tomorrow, maybe cross training at the gym, since I’ve worked so hard today. But right now it feels hard!