This little lady has been our houseguest for the past couple of weeks. Her “people” are on vacation. She’s just as sweet as she looks and lots of fun to have in the house.
The past few days have been kind of mixed up. Normally on Tuesday mornings, I wake up early and go to an (early) yoga class. But this week, Monday night/Tuesday morning, I just slept weird. I woke up at 3am, though my alarm was set for 4:15am. I am a deep sleeper and it’s quite unusual for me to wake up before my alarm. I was very confused when I woke up. My phone (which I use as an alarm clock) said 3am but I was sure it had to be 4:15, since I rarely wake up before my alarm. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I was wide awake but also still groggy, struggling to wake up and make sense of everything.
Eventually I decided to believe my phone and go back to sleep for another hour. When I woke up again, it was 5am. If I’d hurried, I could have made it to the 5:30 yoga class, but I decided it wasn’t worth it, rolled over and went back to sleep.
The whole experience kinda shook me up, though. In a weird weird way. Something about being so confused was very unsettling. Long story short, I didn’t work out on Tuesday (not counting a short dog walk).
I didn’t work out on Wednesday either (again, not counting a short dog walk). Honestly I think I was getting overwhelmed. I have a half marathon on Saturday and the thought of all those miles was just getting to be too much. It was just too difficult for me to be passionate about running.
This whole time, I was still thinking towards the Kansas City marathon and debating if I wanted to train for and run the whole marathon. I brought this up over dinner with my parents, and my mom quickly said, to paraphrase, “no way!!”
Let me explain… I live with my parents because that is a mutually beneficial choice for all of us, and my parents treat me like an adult. If I decided I wanted to run the marathon, I’m sure my parents would support me. You have to realize, though, that my mom will always be a mom and she will always worry about my sister and me. Living with them, I get an extra dose of “mom worry”. Most of it quite tolerable- when I leave home to go somewhere, my mom always tells me to drive safe and to make sure my phone is charged so she can get in touch with me, or she’ll tell me to call her when I get there or call her if I’m going to be out late.
She also worries about me running. When I ran the Rock the Parkway half marathon, I was running for over 3 hours, and during that time, she was cheering for me, but she also worried about me a little bit- if I was hurt or sick. Of course she was proud of me for making it across the finish line, but she also said, basically, “I can’t do this for twice as long”. In other words, please don’t run a marathon, because it would be too hard on her.
A very very small part of me was irritated that she said that, but a much bigger part of me was relieved. The decision is made- I will spend my summer focusing on the shorter race distances (5k and 10k), maybe improving my pace or consistency and just having fun. Somehow that’s a relief. It’s the right choice, for sure. I won’t have to feel guilty about missing a workout(s) during my vacations this summer- I have two planned vacations coming up. I won’t have to push myself to run extra long (longer than an hour), unless I want to.
When I started running, I subscribed to the email newsletters for a few local running groups. Yesterday I got an email form one of those groups about an upcoming 5k- Rock the Crossroads on July 9. For the first time in awhile, I got excited. I want to do this! After tomorrow’s half marathon and a couple days to recover, I’ll be back- with a new race, a new goal, and new focus. I’m excited!